Dining Differently

I'm extremely used to my family and our way of doing things. We have our specified daily routines, our family celebrations that are tailored to suit us best, and our rituals at the dinner table. I've become so in-tune with how my family is that when I'm in a different house, the environment feels alien. Let's be honest; the food at someone else's house is never as good as the cooking our mom does.

A few years back, I went to my friend's house for lunch. It was even more different for me than it would normally be because it wasn't a different take on an "American meal", her family had prepared a large Persian meal. It was the first time I'd had that kind of food, and so much of it! I was willing to try it; it was delicious and I ate all of it. I remember being too shy to ask for seconds because I wanted everyone else to be able to sit and enjoy eating rather than have to serve me. I didn't know if, in her house, it was considered acceptable or not to eat more than you were served. Later, I found out that the more you eat, the better. They love it when you ask for additional helpings, but I had no idea because I'd never formally dined with their family. I was used to how things were in my family, where I would wait until everyone was finished and move on.

The whole time I was there, I felt at ease. I'd known her for awhile and though our cultures were different, they didn't conflict. Her family was incredibly kind and talkative, accepting me into their house and welcoming me at their dinner table.

The Trouble of Names

For some reason, when I googled my name this picture came up:

That actor's name is Jake Abel, not close at all to my name. I don't think I can be found on Google but a lot of people with similar names (or not so similar) can be. My last name has no story to it that I know of- it was just my father's last name. My first name doesn't have too much of a story either. My mom had several names she liked for a baby girl and she chose the one she liked best.

I think my name suits me. I also think that by the time people are asked if they feel their name embodies them, they've lived with it so long that no other name feels right. Even when I was little, I felt like it was 'my name', so I guess my parents did a good job choosing it. I never had an embarrassing nickname given to me and people have always been good about pronouncing it. I've had no moments in my life when I was embarrassed by the name my parents gave me.

In "The Namesake", the protagonist, Gogol, isn't aware of the story behind his name. He is of Bengali heritage and is not only given a Russian name, but a last name as a first name. It sounds awkward when he is being spoken to and he feels detached to it, as if it isn't his. His father chooses his name after an event in his life that means a lot to him, not to his son. Gogol might appreciate the name and its story if his father tells him of it's importance, but his father keeps it from him. He has no way of knowing and therefore thinks it's a meaningless name that continues to be mispronounced and bring him embarrassment.

Knowing Me, Knowing You

I've been asked to think about my heritage, where I come from, how I identify myself, and what actually plays into my life. In the book we're currently reading, the protagonist is Bengali and although she's moved to America, she continues with her traditions.

I'm German, English (Wales/Scotland?), and Latin, though I was born in Las Vegas. I don't speak German; I speak English because I grew up in America and I speak some Spanish because I'm in a Spanish class at Sage. I think it's hard to really identify with your roots if neither you or your parents are from or have lived in the area that holds your roots. If I'd traveled to Germany, I might have started practicing certain customs but otherwise I feel too distant. Living in California now, it's hard to feel a connection to heritages I was never around. I don't know if "American" is a heritage since America is a place where so may cultures have come together, but it is what I would identify as.

Risky Business

May I just start this blog by saying one thing? Normal is boring. Life is about living (it's in the name). We're meant to go out and have fun; not sit around but get out and zip-line, skydive, whatever we want. Then again, if we never stop doing these activities that are normally memorable and exhilarating, will they lose their significance to us? Will our lives be so packed full of moments that we won't be able to tell them apart and they won't mean as much? You decide that for yourself.

 In my opinion, a life without irrational moments is meaningless. If everyone is constantly rational, it's a step towards a society where everyone acts for the same causes and for self-interest . If everyone embraces utilitarianism in its entirety, we are closer to an entire population conforming to one character. No one has individual interests, no one acts differently from one another. We live a full life when we have those moments acting out of ration because what makes us feel alive are the moments when we're closest to death, not the moments when we're walking to the grocery store.

I have never been skydiving but have always wanted to go. Let's challenge the idea of life being about self-interest and live a little, shall we?

Hate to Love You

Soo… Today my blog is going to be something in which you'll learn something about me (more than you readers normally do in my posts). I've been doing quite a bit of thinking today to try to discover my inner contradictions. I was trying to come up with an original one and not one that was given to me in class until I realized that what I'm most guilty of is something that my teacher brought up in class.

I bet you're all so curious as to what this contradiction I've come to identify with is. Well, let me start by saying: animals. Am I right! They're so hard to hate, unless you've had a traumatic experience with one as a child. Even if you're allergic them, your first reaction to seeing a dog when walking down the street tends to be something along the lines of…

Now I consider myself an animal lover. I also like clothes. Can you see the connection between the two? Where this is going? Yes? No? I can't see you through the computer so I'll assume you know nothing and continue hinting. I have a leather backpack for school, as well as many leather jackets, purses, and coincidentally I am also wearing leather shoes right now. Whenever I see a leather jacket I tend to just stop like:

I know it's terrible and as an animal lover I shouldn't purchase leather products; it isn't benefitting any creature in the least. I'm not going to give up one or the other because it's whats in your heart that counts, yet I still have felt bad. In the past I've bought vegan leather (whatever that is) in order to balance out my unhealthy leather obsession with my love of animals. Then I'll walk through a store and spot that one item and I think "maybe it's vegan" and take it home only to find it isn't. 

Whoops. What I'm getting at is it's not possible to maintain a life without contradictions, whatever they are. Besides, some animal activists aren't vegan but have to eat meat because their diet requires it, not because they want to. That may work against me since my contradiction isn't live-or-die, but nevertheless I've come to terms with it. I'm not going to say "I'll choose one, I love leather so much I suppose instead of loving animals I should hate them and get rid of my own pets." No, no, no. NO. And most of my leather is secondhand; someone bought it before me and got rid of it. I didn't buy it straight from manufacturers, I just kept it from being thrown out. Whatever the matter, I've come to live with it and when my pets see me wearing leather, they don't seem too upset.

The Name Game

In marriage, the option to change a woman's last name to that of her husband always comes up. Recently, women have been keeping their own last names because of convenience for work purposes and maintaining their own identity. Women are more independent now than they used to be; there, I said it! Feminism has been/is being fought for and over the years, women have developed their own rights and lives.

Before, females were expected to be a housewife and weren't given a specific identity. Changing their last name was almost meaningless as they had no distinctiveness to lose. Now, women aren't confined to one lifestyle and each person develops their own singularity. Keeping their name is holding onto their identity because all their accomplishments were made under their own name, not that of their husband's. If they were to change their last name, it would be like erasing the slate, or even transferring their accomplishments to their spouse instead of keeping them as solely their own.

Some women find it easier to change their name so that their family has the same last name all around. On this point, couples planning for families may be more likely to share the same last name simply for convenience. Even then, they could use the wife's name instead of the husband's. Couples more involved with work may not concern themselves with changing last names and may not consider it a big deal. After all, it is the 21st century. Times are changing. The idea of taking the husband's name is just a tradition from when men were considered superior to women, so why keep it?

This is What a Feminist is Like (maybe?)

Recently, the subject of feminism has become more prevalent. Stereotypes have been developed of  "feminists" because of the women who support women/men equality and fight for it with a passion. At times, it seems like feminists are fighting for the social/political status of women to rise above that of men, not just reach equality. Some people get so passionate that catching you saying that you aren't as  eager to adapt to their idea of what a woman should be is seen as being anti-feminist. Personally, I think that as feminism gets more of an audience, there is an increase of pressure on women to be more like men. The less masculine we are, the more we drift back towards being seen as feminine, which society expects us to want to avoid.

Reading the article on Kaley Cuoco's comment regarding her stance on the topic and seeing the hate she received for her own opinion proves society's expectations for all females to band together and go against their stereotypes. The article, along with it's comments, also proved that expressing your opinion on this topic does nothing but bring ill-will. We aren't free to do anything that's remotely relatable to our cliché- not without receiving criticism, that is. If an action of ours proves our stereotype correct, we're supposed to feel like we did something wrong. I'm all for equal rights for men and woman, but can't we be free to be ourselves? Equal rights should mean that we can determine what we believe in and do for ourselves instead of being told what our sex is restricted to in order to maintain a certain social image. Feminism is good, we just have to be mindful about the way we go about securing our rights.

(The stereotype, but a stereotype is true- just not the full truth. Feminists aren't bad but the way some of them act scares off others. If a feminist is trying to spread their beliefs and get equal rights, why adopt means of putting down other's ideas and verbally abusing them?)

To leave you on a happy note, here's a feminist that is not-so-intimidating:

 

What are your thoughts? In your discussions with friends, Internet-surfings, late-night Tumblr reads, or listening to someone else talking about feminism (it's OK, we all eavesdrop sometime), what opinions have you developed on the topic?